‘Give it your all’; ‘put you’re best effort in’. I don’t really know how many times I’ve heard that, or any variation thereof, but I know I’ve come to think little of the phrases, when pertaining to a generalized school workload, at any rate. My best efforts go into something I most enjoy and when told to put them to something from an educational standpoint my mind goes blank. What about school is interesting to me? Nothing, from what I can tell, which is why I find myself a great distance from home with a group of people working on how to teach without school. Even with that as my footing it is difficult to put in my whole one hundred and ten percent effort – how much of what I do here is just a benefit for an educational system rather than my learning?
Still, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do… but that’s what I’ve been doing. All the days in school, in a system, I do what I have to do because they expect it. Out here, when I’m away from that system I’m doing what I like to do because I want to, not because it’s what I’m supposed to. So where’s my effort been going? Isn’t this interesting?
I had to sit back and prod my consciousness for a while to get an answer. Of course this is interesting – but I need that to come across as more than just spontaneous laughter when I realize I’m not locked in a tiny room with a bunch of people my own age. I’ve never really had to go out and pursue something from the outside world that was of great interest to me; most of my interests stem from my own mind and whatever peculiar menial tasks I find. Now, it seems, is the best time to interact with the world I walk around in.
So far, it’s damned fascinating.
By: Natasha Alston